Hidden Anxieties
by dannylynn799
Summary: It is after the war is over, Voldermort has won and made everyone's lives hell. Can Hermione and Ginny find a way to overcome their fear and let everything loose to continue with their relationship or will fate take over in the wrong way?
1. Chapter 1 it starts

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any characters withing. I own this plot and nothing else. Follows the books up until HBP where my story holds an alternate ending.

_**WARNING! CONTAINS FEMSLASH, DOWNGRADING, AND SEXUAL CONTENT, IF YOU DO NOT LIKE THESE TOPICS... DO NOT READ! Comments are always appreciated. Enjoy!**_

_**Hermione 2:27 AM**_

I can feel her against me, her breathing ragged against my throat, my heartbeat racing. I love this, the scent of sex mingling with sweat and rose petals. I slowly untangle my limbs from her own and shudder one last time, moving my stretched over-worked thighs. God, I love this woman, this gorgeous red-head laying across my chest. I cherish these times, this sweet aloneness that rarely comes anymore. I knew when I asked her to be mine what the complications would be. I knew her family would be involved, her entire family, 6 brothers, both parents, and extensive family included. At first I was worried, that they wouldn't appreciate me, or were afraid that I wouldn't treat her right, but I swore to myself that I could never hurt her, not ever.

Ginny Minerva Weasley was my weakness, my very essence, my reason to live, and I loved her. I wish things would have been different, that I could keep her forever, that we wouldn't constantly have to deal with the threat of Voldemort finding us, ruining our perfect life. Unfortunately, with Harry gone, the prophecy cannot come true, cannot be fulfilled. I miss him, so much, I miss the knowledge he would share with me when I stayed up all night, crying over the one that was only now snuggling against me, spreading her warmth over my body.

It's been seven months to the day since Harry's disappearance. The hardest seven months of my life. Ron has gone even further down hill, his usually bright red hair, matted down to his forehead. He's barely moved from his bed while the empty bottles of fire whiskey continue to accumulate, I can hardly bear to walk past his room without the stench gagging me. I travel up and down the stairs, heavy heart and a lead filled body. I can barely feel myself the warmth that my new love is exuding for the numbness that has yet to leave my body. This is my life, and what I have to make with it.

I am pulled out of my musings from the light snoring of the beautiful young girl laying in my arms. I relish these times because she can finally rest her mind, just let go of everything. I know Ginny took it harder than anyone of us did. Her crush on Harry was more than just that. She loved him, truly loved him. I knew, deep down, that her heart would always belong to the black haired green eyed man that would no longer walk this cruel cursed earth again. I knew it and I accepted it. I believe, in a way, that I loved him to, but no one that I know has a big enough heart to love him as she did.

I sat up slowly and reached for my wand, being careful not to stir Ginny and quietly muttered the spell that I have been using to keep her dreams pleasant. So far, it seems to be working. My wand tip lights up in a faint lavender glow as I gently wave my wand above her eyes and already I can feel her breathe easier. I can see her body relax itself and I smile. This is how I love her, flaming red hair spread across my breasts, covering my nipples, fair complexion contrasting perfectly against the sheets of our King sized bed. I slowly brush my fingers across her cheek and smile as I feel her heart start to beat faster. I know that she is dreaming of me. I am projecting my dreams into her own, trying to recall everything that I want to happen, that I want to experience with her, until we can be together without worry, without problems.

I yawn and cuddle down against her into the bed and the warmth of the blankets and slowly nod off to sleep.

_**Ginny 6:29 AM**_

I slowly wake up in my love's arms and smile then turn into the circle of her arms. I can feel her breath on my neck and it makes me shiver. I am always like this, always wanting, almost always afraid to take. I need her, more than I need breathing and I have made up my mind, I am going to take her…Now. I slowly pull away from her, trying to keep myself calm from the feelings exploding inside me. God, but she is gorgeous. I so want her and at last, we are alone and I can get my wish. I manage to successfully pull myself free and I carefully arrange her beautiful sleeping form in front of me. I pull my shirt off of my lithe body and look down at her, raising my eyebrows. I had a dream last night, a good one, and I want to try it out on her. I giggle and start to blush at the thoughts racing through my head and I slowly slide her shirt up her body, breathing slightly heavier with each inch of skin revealed. Her pale, fragile skin eliciting tingles of delight that race from my fingertips, the point of contact, and race through my arms , sending jolts of electricity straight to the tips of my breasts. God, I have never felt this way before.

I smile and watch as her chest starts to inflate and deflate even more rapidly as my fingers gently brush the undersides of her breasts, my breath catching up to hers. I can feel those same jolts of electricity traveling down my torso, to tease at my inner most parts. I'm not sure how much more of this sweet torture I can subject myself to… I allow my fingers to travel up further on her perky breasts and know I have hit my limit when I find that her nipples have already hardened underneath my ministrations. I need this beautiful girl, now. I rise above her and slowly pull my shirt up off of my body and look down at her. Her beautifully frizzy hair flowing in sumptuous waves across my favorite pillow, the one that matches her eyes perfectly. I know that I can always count on this, on her to be here for me and I relish it.

My fingers make quick work of her night shirt and I gasp at the beauty lying before me. The sun has just peaked over the window sill and is caressing her breasts in ways I can only dream about. I want to run my tongue across her collar bone and slide it down farther, but I just sit there, taking in the beauty lying before me. I can see her stir once and slowly her eyes open, squinting from the grogginess swimming through her head. I smile and shift myself gently between her legs and slowly let my fingers travel over her nipples once more. "Good morning my love. Did you sleep well?"

I hear her moan quietly and feel a shudder travel through her body. "Well, I did, but I enjoyed my wake up call much more. What brings on this magnificent treat my dear one?" She slowly sits up and stretches her arms above her head, lifting her already perky breasts even more and causing a low moan to escape my lips.

I smile at her teasing and rise to my knees in front of her, feeling my light green boy shorts riding up higher while my hands slowly start to re-explore her body. I smile as her eyelids flutter and I pull her close to me, her breasts gently pressing against mine, my nipples sliding deliciously over hers while gooseflesh erupted over my body. "You know how I get when I'm around you. I just have a hard time containing myself."

I see a blush slowly spread across her cheeks and feel my insides begin to moisten. I lick my lips and gently fall back, pulling her down with me, my hands slowly brushing up and down her sides. I groan quietly and slide my lips down her neck, my tongue reaching out to brush against the hollow of her throat, my fingernails playing over her finely honed body. _'I'm laying here with the love of my life sending my body into over drive with barely a touch and I haven't done anything?! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME?!' I smile and rest my hands on her shoulders, slowly pushing her down onto her back, sliding my hands down her body and moaning quietly against her lips. "Can I take you Mione? Can I make you mine?" I whisper this against her lips and slowly trail my lips down her neck to kiss along her collar bone._

_I hear her gasp and feel the shudder travel from her toes to her head and back down. "Please, I'm not sure I can wait much longer!"_

_My fingers slide down into her pale pink thong and slowly trace along her outer lips, my lips moving down her torso farther and slowly I kiss over the peaks of her breasts. "Tell me how you want me Mione, please? I want to hear it." I smile and gently play my tongue around the areola of her left breast, fingers sliding down even further into her thong, curling gently in the fluffy down surrounding her precious spot._

_I hear her gasp and watch as her body becomes taught and her nipples grow impossibly harder. She opens her mouth and looks like she is trying to swallow a mouthful of marbles then her blush deepens. "I'm sorry baby, I can't see it, just please, guess!" Her fingers tighten on my shoulders and I gasp under her fingers, just as I was doing to her. I smile and slowly travel my tongue down her body, my fingers slowly pulling down her thong, my lips and tongue teasing the inside of her belly-button and slowly tracing down lower. My fingers slowly slide her thong down her long muscular thighs, my tongue tracing down further and further. "Baby, I am going to take you, now. Relax." I gently run my tongue over her lower lips and slightly tease my fingers around her lower entrance. I slowly side my tongue in further and let it travel over her sensitive quivering nub. I slide one finger slowly into her tight wet entrance, and meet with a resistance that could only mean one thing. "You are a virgin?" I stop and slowly pull away, intoxicated from her taste on my lips and yet confused. "I thought you and Ron…."_

_I saw the deepest blush of the morning spread across her cheeks and shook my head. "No, are you sure you want me to take your virginity?"_

_AN: I hope you like the first chapter of my story! I will continue to post newer chapters as I have time for them. :D Please enjoy and leave reviews!_


	2. Chapter 2 the invasion

Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling, I do not own Harry Potter (books, movies, action figures, marionettes, etc.) but I do own this plot! Enjoy!

**Hermione 8:47 AM**

I smile down at her and slowly run my fingers through her bright red hair. "Yes my love, I am sure. I have been waiting for this since before I can remember and I can't wait any longer. Take me, please! This is driving me insane! I want to feel your tongue inside me! Make me feel beautiful and loved! Make me cum, please?!" I throw my head back as she increases her ministrations on my clit and I start to pull and pinch on my taut nipples. Her finger slowly moves in and out of my tight wetness and I feel myself getting closer. "Yes, Ginny! More! Let me feel your tongue, PLEASE?!"

I slowly untangle my fingers from her hair and lick my lips, spreading my legs even wider. Her tongue slowly circles it's way around my entrance and gently dips inside of me. As soon as her tongue is inside me, I know there is no going back, I can feel it, I'm going over the edge. "Ginny!" Her name escapes my lips as I arch back, forcing myself onto her mouth even more. I can feel her jerk above me and I realize that she has been pleasuring herself as well as pleasuring me! I slowly lower back into my body from her tongue and shudder violently. _My God, but I've never felt like this before! All the times that I have used my own fingers, I have never felt this level of intensity or pleasure from my own fingers before! _I start to shiver again gently and pull her up beside me, wrapping my arms around her waist and nuzzling into her shoulder. "Ginny Minerva Weasley, I love you, with all of my heart."

I feel warmth spreading underneath my arm and look up to see a blush spreading across Ginny's body. "Baby, what is wrong? Why are you blushing?"

"Well, that uh, that's what Harry used to say to me.." I can see tears forming in her eyes. I gasp and pull her closer, stroking her hair gently. "He was so amazing.. Why did he have to die Mione? Why?" I don't understand how someone so perfect could have died like this. I hate this, I DO!" I feel her shudder under me and notice tears slide down my own cheeks.

I pulled her closer to me, my fingers brushing up and down her arms. "My God Gin, I am so sorry! I just didn't know! I was just saying what was in my hear-." My voice faltered and I began clutching at her arms ferociously, my fingers biting into her porcelain skin. Something was overtaking my body and there was nothing I could do but cower in the back of my mind while the other being took over the rest of me. Suddenly, I felt a familiar presence surround me and I relaxed into it. The world came back to me in a rush. A cold and painful reality surrounded me when I heard Ginny sobbing in my arms.

"Mione, please, please let me go. Please, you're bruising me!" I started at her words and realized the skin, protruding from between my fingers, was no longer pale and freckled, but mottled and purple. Quickly, I relinquished my hold on her upper arms and let my own strained limbs fall into my lap. I was stunned. 'I just hurt Ginny, how could I?!' I screamed the words over and over in my head.

'But she likes it,' argued another voice, a medium toned male's whisper, 'look at her Hermione. Study her eyes, see how they are glazed over? See how hard her nipples are? Watch the peaks of her breasts rise and fall, like she is panting. Inhale her sickly sweet smell and recognize what you have done for this gorgeous creature!' I started once more when I realized that the voice intruding my thoughts, my body, was someone from a very recent past. "H-Harry, is that you?" I watched as if I was hovering above, looking down as Ginny's head snapped up, eyes alarmed.

"No! Hermione! It's me, Ginny!"

xxxxxx

**Ginny **

'Hermione is scaring me.' I said to myself. 'This really isn't like her! First bringing up Harry in my mind, using the same words he used, when she knows it is too soon for me. How could she hurt me mentally like that?! That wasn't all of it though! Grabbing onto my arms and hold on, as if fearful of something, or someone. She seemed to undergo some sort of epileptic seizure but then, she must have regained control of her inner demons. Through the entirety of her spasms I wore my voice out trying to get her to let go. It was no used, her fingers would not let loose from my arms, but I tried anyway. I did not want my lover to know what her strong fingers really did to me in that instant, how the "pain" really brought me pleasure. My mouth begged her to stop, but my libido, having no mouth, didn't get to have it's turn. I was going to have to make her stop soon or I wouldn't make it through.

I can feel her eyes on me and I blush even deeper. She looks at me almost as though she is going to say something but I cut her off, not wanting to heart what I am positive she already knows. Her breath spreads across my cheek, radiating warmth and sending shivers down my body, as I lean in close to her. It's different this time. I can smell a difference, a change, in the scent that usually surrounds her. Somehow she smells muskier, and yet more vibrant, but underneath it all, underlying the bittersweet scent that is invading my nostrils and threatening to take over my senses is something else. Decay. The foul smell that follows after a rotting corpse inhabits a wooden box for a while.

It was that smell that made me turn my head. Death. It's inevitable, but when it happens, it's like a slap in the face. I missed Harry, so much. Maybe, if I could just kiss him, one more time, I would be okay. To hear him say...

"I love you, Ginny." My heart shattered as these words escaped Hermione's mouth. I couldn't deny it any longer. I had to move on because I knew in my heart that he wasn't coming back.

"I-I love you too, Mione."

My eyes traveled up to her face and I realized something strange was happening. Her usual chocolate brown eyes now had glints of green in them. Her fists started to convulse but I could not understand what made them do it. 'I just professed my love for this girl and now she's getting mad at me?!' I felt a hand on my arm and I shivered under that hair breadth of a touch. She knew, was too smart not to. She knew and I was terrified.

AN: Sorry it took me so long to post. Have already started on the third chapter. Hope you enjoy these new twists. J


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